


Viral

by ReturnToZero



Series: Oumasai Week 2k18 [4]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, But we get to see CH.4 again, Canon Compliant, Despair, I hope this helps me redeem my SHSL Angst title, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Post-Game technically, That's the sound of my heart breaking, Unrequited Love, Viral AU, all angst, do you hear that?, how fun, kill me, weeeeeeee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 08:52:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15021047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReturnToZero/pseuds/ReturnToZero
Summary: Life after V3 is hard, but he tries to be strong. The shadow of the past looms over him though, especially when the fans still exist.





	Viral

**Author's Note:**

> Day 5 (Friday June 22)- ~~Anniversaries~~ / **Despair**

It’s sometimes hard to get up in the morning.

 

He isn’t used to this life at all. Itsuki gets all kinds of recognition still, to the point where he hates his own name. He’s changed his look, his name, even his damned food preferences just because everytime he sees meat all he can think about is his dead friends.

 

Akari and Ichika are the same. Akari hates how everyone immediately asks her to choke them, and Ichika still gets a lot of gazes from both women and men that find her youthful appearance to be desirable in detestable ways. It doesn’t help that even though Danganronpa is dismantled their fans still hide in the deep web. Their presence is prevalent, with private servers, blogs, and forums dedicated to the sick show. Some of those fans were even sick enough to buy something called the  _ **Ultimate Despair Subscription**_.

 

Just thinking about the names makes Itsuki want to barf. (It was known that in his previous life he was one of the original backers and testers for it. His subscription still wasn’t canceled by the time he entered the killing game.)

 

He also made the mistake of watching the recordings he saved to his computer. In short, it basically was a channel package that featured a different ‘camera’ for each channel, and the package included about twenty channels in total. Sixteen cameras coincided with sixteen students so you could watch your favorites the entire time instead of having to be forced to watch people you didn’t like. There were a couple of special channels, like the Love Hotel channel that sometimes featured gross reruns of them pairing off for weird fantasy roleplays. (Itsuki thinks they might be pre-recorded since they only have sixteen episodes.)

 

There was even a Monokuma Talk show, which featured Big Name Fans coming on and debating about popular fan theories and being utterly depraved about their ‘OTPs’. The host who was a raving fan of Danganronpa, some educated person who gave up their entire life just so they could be on the show from 12 to 8 pm. It was sick, seeing her go on and on about her ships and her ideas about how the killing game should just be angst angst angst and maximize hurting the audience to near despair levels. (He makes sure to flame all the posts from [@letmeshipinpeace](http://letmeshipinpeace.tumblr.com/) on Tumbles, she deserves to rot in hell.)

 

The only good news is that the hard drive his past self had dedicated to recording the show was full by the end of V3’s first trial. He didn’t need any more records of Kaede’s undeserved execution, his memories were enough.

 

Akari always insists that he shouldn’t go looking online for those things, but he hates them. He hates the fans- for still somehow surviving even though the damn thing ended almost two years ago. Itsuki has to go in, has to try and get these people to stop consuming them like they are media and start seeing them as real people. That was the whole point of the finale, the whole point of his friends giving up their lives; so that this kind of twisted consumption of entertainment would be outlawed.

 

Today though, he doesn’t have to look for them.

 

He was just on Youbetube, trying to find some calming music to play while he cleans his tiny apartment. But there, the trending page mocks him-

 

**Kokichi Ouma falls into despair!**

1.1M views

 

He can’t restrain himself from clicking through.

 

The video comes up, and he already feels the dread enter his body from seeing the video box buffer. His internet always seems to do this and it never helps. It only makes the damned ordeal that more stressful, since it prolongs his grief.

 

Lately, this has been happening and happening more, the fans have been moving off their private videos and invite-only Discordz to Youbetube, posting uncut footage for the masses to see. Those videos are highly sensitive and illegal, but somehow they manage to get on the platform for a few hours. And all they need is a couple hours to get on the trending page to do their damage. Shuichi has written to Youbetube about five times, but still, this shit keeps happening. It’s disgusting and sad how they can’t even keep these disgusting footage from their platform. It also doesn’t help that he’s beginning to see petitions for a Danganronpa reboot floating around on Bookface. Most of the time it’s just trolling, but Ichika managed to take one down that was trying to be legit.

 

Finally, the video loads and starts to play before him-

 

He gets to watch Shuichi Saihara rip into Kokichi Ouma at the end of the fourth trial. His voice, full of anger and disgust and rage all directed at a young boy who is trying to find out how to end the killing game. It’s a disgusting memory, but now it’s even worse now that he knows the truth.

 

Itsuki can’t help but think,  _I’m such an awful person._

 

Kokichi’s face goes blank just like how he remembers it. Nothing is said after that tense moment, and the remaining survivors all leave the room. Kokichi seems to be frozen in place with that blank expression though. It takes him so long to finally leave his stand, only glancing at Miu’s photo and Gonta’s crucified body before he can finally leave the room, running like hell.

 

Kokichi spends the next few minutes loitering the school. He walks without a direction really, passing through all the floors, entering random classrooms. He doesn't seem to be searching for anything, more like he’s trying to find something to do.

 

Every time he approaches where the rest of the group is, he immediately turns away, finding a different place to be. He even avoids going to the restrooms by the dining hall so he doesn't have to see any of the boys at dinnertime.

 

Finally, after he has a meal in solitude he manages to sneak out to Miu’s lab. It’s not surprising that he manages to pick the lock, but Itsuki notes how the Ultimate Supreme Leader hesitates. It’s not like him to wait so long, but then again it seems like he might actually be preparing something. Kokichi takes a big deep breath before stepping inside.

 

He takes his time going into her lab. She has all kinds of stuff lying around, parts, unfinished inventions, finished inventions, gifts from Shuichi. Blueprints scatter her workbench, some from her and a couple from Ouma.

 

“You dumb idiot.” Ouma’s voice finally comes from the speakers, startling him so badly he jumps a bit. It’s been so long since he’s heard that voice and it makes his heart twist with regret.

 

It’s low and heavy, clearly, the last trial was weighing massively on him. It sounds like his voice is thick with remorse. It’s probably the most emotion he’s seen from the Supreme Leader, but based on the title he tries to steady himself for what is about to come.

 

Kokichi finds the Electro-hammers and Electro-Bombs. Again, Kokichi seems to be finally crumbling from the pressure of being the ‘villain’ of the series-

 

He knocks over a chair in sheer fury, yelling out curses and tossing whatever he can get his hands on. He doesn’t even try to contain his voice this time, probably confident that no one would enter Miu’s lab-

 

“Why would you make shit for me still? Didn’t I tell you we could get out?! That you could fucking trust me to get you out?!”

 

It’s awful. Shuichi can feel the anger and pain in his words. It hurts, how truthful and genuine Kokichi is being. The scene was already jarring him, to see someone so composed and strong finally explode like that was too much. Especially from someone like Kokichi, who very rarely allowed his emotions to get out of hand.

 

Again, silence fills the room. Itsuki still doesn’t know how close they were. He always only saw Kokichi’s teasing and bullying, but if Miu was making things for him still, she must have at least thought they could have been friends, right?

 

Kokichi’s breath gets funny.

 

_It takes him a moment to realize that Kokichi’s crying._

 

Kokichi always showed crocodile tears. Even sending off Gonta was a bit odd since Kokichi let a few out but not one hundred percent. But this face he’s making, it looks like something he’s seen before. Something that Danganronpa fans love-

 

**Despair.**

 

True and utter despair. It sends a chill through his body, seeing how blank Kokichi’s eyes are. Itsuki had always thought that eyes were the windows to the soul. They held a light in them that was beautiful and helped him get through his life.

 

Kokichi didn’t have that light anymore.

 

No, instead he looks like he’s ready to die. Fat tears roll down his face as he stares at nothing in particular. Slowly he moves, almost like he’s sinking in water-

 

“This is all my fault though.”

 

It’s an ugly epiphany, mostly because it’s true. Kokichi never lets them in, and despite motivating them to move forward, he had to do it in a roundabout way, making himself the villain and antagonist so that they could have a chance at seeing the truth and uniting them against the killing game.

 

“I just wanted to save my friends.” His voice is soft, more childlike than he remembers. Kokichi usually had a hint of mischief or a mocking tone, but this is the exact opposite of that.

 

Kokichi barely manages to shift, curling up on the hard floor as the tears don’t stop. His face glimmers with trails and trails of tears, his breath shaky and uneven as he lets himself sink further and further into the darkness.

 

“But I don’t wanna die! I can’t even use my fucking talent right! All my friends keep dying and all I can do is wait until it’s my turn!” Kokichi tries to laugh, but instead, he gives an awful forced chuckle full of anguish.

 

His eyes finally adopt the trademark Dangan Ronpa swirls as he starts to give that pathetic laugh once more, rocking a bit on the floor as he holds his head and tugs on his hair-

 

“Even my beloved hates me! He hates me the most! I love him and he wants me to die!” More and more laughter follows, it isn’t funny though.

 

Itsuki’s heart breaks at hearing the tears seep into his voice. Kokichi sounds like he’s choking on his own tears, torn between wailing and speaking. He had always sort of known that Kokichi had liked him, but love? After how awful he treated him, Kokichi still loved him?

 

Still, Kokichi forces his words out-

 

“I’m all alone.” Kokichi eyes finally light up again, but it’s the worst thing Shuichi has ever seen.

 

Because that light makes it clear that Shuichi is the reason for Kokichi’s breakdown.

 

“I’m alone I’m alone I’m alone I’m alone I’m alone.” Kokichi says it over and over, a terrifying mantra that digs into his very being and slashes into his heart.

 

_Shuichi is the one who made Kokichi despair._

 

His tears finally stop, but his eyes become the most despair-inducing thing Shuichi has ever seen in all his memories of Dangan Ronpa. “ _I’m alone I’m alone I’m alone I’m alone I’m alone I’m alone_. ”

 

Again, more silence. Just sniffles and hard swallows can be heard. Sometimes there’s a shuddery breath but Kokichi seems to be putting himself back together.

 

Shuichi finally can’t hold it in, his vision goes blurry and he feels his throat tightening up. Shuichi tries to hold back the hot tears that slide down his cheeks but finds it to be futile. They burn him as his heart pulls on every vein and artery in his body. He feels it spread through his chest and his arms- all stinging and singing with pain.

 

He cries with Kokichi, regretting all the times he treated the boy with malice and disdain.

 

After four minutes, Kokichi rolls to lay flat on the ground, facing up and staring at the ceiling. His tears are mostly gone, the only salt left on the skin from the tear streaks. His eyes are much too focused and despite the light returning to them, the composure is unsettling. Shuichi realizes that Kokichi is back to thinking the cogs in his mind turning again as he continues to plot something -

 

“I **’m going to die alone.** ” Kokichi says calmly.

 

The video ends.

 

Shuichi stares at the black video box.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Shuichi despairs.**

**Author's Note:**

> Goodness, this was a tough day for me. Sorry for the late fic, hopefully I can get some time later to do the actual prompt for today. 
> 
> Leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed this!


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